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Writer's pictureVidya Prasad Ramesh

Motherhood - A bumpy ride

Every woman has a dream to become a mother at some point in time. I guess it has to do with genetics and is somewhere deeply embedded in a women’s instinct. This phenomenon is called the “biological urge”.


This was one of the many reasons in my Case. I got married late in search of a suitable partner, which I absolutely don’t regret. I finally had someone who could understand me. Once we were married, that was the easy part, it’s wonderful how everyone gets a say in your life…family and friends 😊..what are they for!!..


But this was also something we wanted so hence began our journey…We tried and tried but nothing happened for almost a year until we started panicking…natural isn’t it…something must be wrong …Then came a lot of suggestions from friends to no avail..but it did help increase the panic.


Lots of doctor visits...I feel this was a waste of time as many doctors have become commercial and want to extend your so-called treatments, whether they were necessary or not...


Funny thing for the first few months they did not even bother checking my husband and when he would point this out they would just give some silly reason that they wanted to get through me first..then we would change the doctor…


This continued for a few years..and trying to conceive was become more like a chore than an experience...


We decided to let it go…no more monthly calculations..no more planned trials..we just let go…if it was going to happen...it will.


We visited many temples too during that period..none answered...

I decided to take charge of my health first…lost some weight..started eating healthy…lifestyle changed completely..plus no stress of trying to be a mother…

Then it happened 😝

Oh, what a happy day it was…


motherhood - the bumpy ride
Aparna & her daughter

We had prepared for it or we thought we had …my morning sickness happened to come up in the evenings..husband working and I was alone at home…hunger could strike anytime…husband came running...


This was the first 3 months after conceiving...We dint tell anyone as we dint want to jinx it…only after the first trimester did we break the news to a few people who were really close...


The entire journey from the day when we tested positive to announcing the news was full of doubt and fear…We somehow pulled through...


At 8 months when I went for my last scan, I was told that the baby’s growth was slow compared to the number of weeks…my uterus was calcifying and the nutrients were not reaching the baby …hence the slow growth


I was given a week’s time to decide a day for a c section…as delaying further may lead to complications…


I was scared and terrified..doctors were not that great at explaining the situation...I wasn’t even sure whether to believe them..luckily father in law is a surgeon..so we had the luxury of taking a few second (seven to eight)opinions.


I had prepared myself from day one for normal delivery…even took some online classes, I ate healthily and worked out everyday…but I was at a loss..so I gave in ..even to this day I have my doubts and often wonder whether I could have had a normal delivery…


So we decided to go for a c section on an auspicious day. I gave birth to the most beautiful thing I have ever held in my entire life and the moment is linked in my mind for the rest of my life…


After delivery, I was taken to my mother’s house. I was fed like never before…like there was a famine coming…so much nutritious food…I’d say over nutritious..the amount of ghee and dry fruits I was given..made to wear a sweater at 35•c..even against my will…


I was told all this was necessary to heal my body…I was gaining weight fast…I still haven’t shed those extra pounds after almost 2 years…and it has been difficult to maintain a regular routine of a healthy lifestyle…I wish I knew what to eat and how much…when to start exercising after the c-section...


One of my major problems was breastfeeding, I was clueless in the beginning but I did some reading, the baby was underweight as she was born early. it was difficult for her to latch, with time and patience, and some advice from lactation consultants online we managed…


wish I knew someone from the beginning to talk me through this process..but what I understand is each mother has her own problems and experience which cannot be generally applied to everyone..so you need an expert with experience…


So here is a list of things to keep in mind to make your life easier


Before delivery

1. Know what to eat, how much to eat and when to eat…get a test done to know what are your deficiencies, and hire a nutritionist if you can.

2. Plan an exercise regime…to help you with natural birth.

3. When to start reading and talking to your baby

4. Pack your delivery bag for the hospital, get a checklist online


After delivery

1. How to avoid constipation

2. Diet and exercise according to your geographical location

3. Consult a lactation expert.

4. Basic medicine for your baby


Last and the most important piece of advice

Every baby is unique, what might work for others, might not work for you..so act accordingly don’t pay too much attention to every piece of advice…


With Love,


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