Is it your child’s mistake?
Is it the mistake of the child to be born in this environment?
All a child needs is love,
All a child needs is the touch of the loved one,
All a child needs is a hug from loved ones,
All a child needs is to laugh with loved ones,
And all the child asks is our time!
It makes me wonder!
Just before we have the baby, the topic in most Indian homes is about having a baby for a married couple. When will you give us the good news is the most asked question even today.
This is the topic at every function, every home visit, every time parents visit, and so on. Then the couple decides to plan for the baby, this is another process that can be difficult for some, actually stressful for some, and also sometimes going through a lot of medications, and then then the couple is expecting!
Such a happy phase you see, everyone around is taking care of the pregnant mother, asking her what are her cravings, then everyone wants to advise her on the labor, and everyone loves to talk! and if she is a working mother, then her life is as busy as the bee!
There are deadlines, there are tasks, there are emails to send, and the announcement has to be made at the office regarding the baby. Some are happy for her, some are not happy for her…
And you cannot say those who are happy are happy for her news, or maybe just happy that there is going to be one less competitor in their way.
Then there is maternity leave planning, the mother is already in an emotional phase not understanding whether to continue the job or quit the job.
It is not an easy thing to support a family in metro cities with one income, if both partners are earning, then a decent living can be thought of, else every day can be a struggle.
Now amidst all this, our most awaited, the most demanding human arrives! Now again my question here is, is it the baby’s mistake?
Who decided to welcome the baby? It is us! We decided to bring a baby into our world. We thought we will give all the love in the world to the baby.
And now the moment comes, and the baby arrives, the elders! Oh my! Everyone wants to own the baby, everyone wants to talk, talk, and talk! Instead of supporting the mother and the baby, satisfying the baby's adults becomes a new task!
Where actually, everyone was waiting for the baby sometime back! If the baby has to be fed properly, then the mother has to be taken care of, else how can the baby get all the nourishment that you have been trying to feed the mother in the name of healthy food?
So many emotions are going through here! again, is it the mistake of the baby?
What is the baby’s fault here!?
The baby was so safe in the womb, the moment the baby is out in the world, so much stress, and negativity is all around! The care has to double or triple up, isn't it? Now that the baby is outside, ask the mother for comfort and maybe no talk or talk less around the mother, so that at least some peace is around her!
Now, as months pass, now that the baby is getting to bond, and the mother has to leave for work! Do you know how painful it is for the baby? Yes, the mother also feels bad, but we are adults, at least we can reason with our emotions.
What about the baby? My heart aches if I think from a baby’s perspective. Somehow the baby is used to the father going out and coming, but the mother?
Am I saying, that mothers should forget their careers? No, m not saying that. The stress we put on our child, in the name of financial status, in the name of career, is just not fair.
What is a child’s mistake in this? There should be at least someone who can love the child, be with the child, and shower that love, in the absence of the parents.
It is so painful and difficult for a child to cope with those emotions! The child feels abandoned!
Make sure to shower your love so much that the child does not feel deprived of it. No love is too much love! No love can be replaced with materials! Toys cannot be replaced by you! If you are doing this, your child will replace you someday! And that day will be hard.
For no mistake of the child’s, we expect them to understand, be calm, be understanding, and we want them to mature in their childhood! Where is the child if all this is there? This is the beauty of the child, the innocence, the mischief, the unbound love!
If you have planned for a child, then the basic responsibility lies with the parents!
Once they grow up, the unbound love may be replaced with reasoning and logic! Do not try to go far from your child, try to just be there for them. Just be you! Just try to be there for them.
You will spend only 18 summers with your child.
Make every day count!