It is often said that every mother's journey is unique.
I could not agree more.
Experience of pregnancy, good or bad is often filtered by what’s acceptable to the elegance of societal limits.
This meant I was in for a surprise.
Childbirth and pregnancy have always been a constant,
But its attributes are still so new and unknown.
The new roads that my overall well-being took,
knocking down many pillars,
toppling over self-worth, self-respect, and self-love, and gave way to stress, anxiety, and mood swings.
The journey was a pilgrimage through rough waters.
Before embarking on this journey,
I guaranteed myself membership in the ‘active pregnancy ‘ club.
This was shaken to the core with a very passive time spent in surgery, bed rests, and hospital visits.
Wherein, I longed to sit up a little while longer,
Gravity was my enemy,
A walk was a distant memory.
The responsibility of the tiny one being born depended on my posture and activity.
Rest, my doctor said. But my mind had no rest.
I was more stressed of my stress stressing out about my unborn child.
A general opinion was, that these are unwarranted feelings, for the fact that I have been blessed.
Though I wished for no one’s sympathy,
I was constantly plagued with being misunderstood on trying to express myself out of my murky waters.
Certain ‘experts’ didn’t help my cause.
That made me question myself. If I am fit to be a mother if I feel this way.
I was simultaneously grateful for the blessing as well as my support system that tried their best.
Finally, I received and found a few things that I was searching for in this journey by making changes in my healthcare support.
I will not minimize the efforts of my partner, my parents, my friends, and other family members who empathetically cared for me deeply and also suffered all the way, who stood by me when I could not.
This was indeed a unique path for me, a new mother, with ups and downs leading to a beautiful, precious girl of mine, whose very first sight melted all of me.
To other new mothers,
Remove all your preconceived notions, and educate yourself and others around you about the realm of pregnancy and motherhood. Never give up.
Meghna Anilkumar
Instagram: meghna_ar
